Duffy Moon Inc

Holy Conspiracy Theory, Bard-Man!

2012-01-24T08:35:00.000-08:00

(The fine print: bulk of post typed on a Remington Noiseless Model 7, neglected for too long, and now so unfamiliar with my touch - as evidence by the skipped spaces - as to make me weep with shame. The Psalm itself was typed on a SC Silent Super, which is the same machine Shakespeare himself preferred. More evidence? You be the judge.)

Maphead, Typehead

2011-12-31T11:25:00.000-08:00

(Typed on a lovely and perfectly functional Cole Steel. All you CS haters, keep hatin'.)

(Drawn by hand - no, seriously! - on wonderful graph paper scratch pad donated by an anonymous midwestern typospherian. Thanks, typehead brother!)

Police Academy Meets Typosphere

2011-12-14T15:44:00.000-08:00

Did one of you typospherians refer me to this video of The History of the Typewriter Recited by Michael Winslow? Because if you didn't, you should have. I had to rely on a local writer's-group pal, and that's a shame.

I'm not 100% sure he got all of the varied typewriter sounds precisely right (the Remington Noiseless is suspicious, to my ears), but just the fact that Michael "Larvell Jones" Winslow can make so many varied typewriter sounds is awesome enough.

EDIT: I see now that, in addition to the PTF post mentioned by Deek, that this video was mentioned in the December 2011 issue of ETC (which I just got to read last evening). So, well done, Typosphere. Sorry I missed it.

Dreams

2011-11-15T16:18:00.000-08:00

Flint

2011-11-12T13:12:00.000-08:00

While You Were Noveling

2011-11-03T12:41:00.000-07:00

While y'all were noveling, feeding the NaNoRhino and whatnot...

The Lovely Mrs. Moon and I spent a few days just a short distance from home, in the Appalachian foothills of Southeast Ohio.

Maybe just a few days past peak foliage-viewing. But when you're taking a few days out of your busy schedule to celebrate a 17-year anniversary, you take what you can get.

Lake Hope is beautiful in the summer, and starkly lovely in November.

We stayed in a tiny cabin atop a ridge, surrounded by leaves newly-fallen or about-to-fall.

The view from the porch was pretty nearly free from anything man-made.

I even found a fiew moments to write (that's a Cole Steel, for those keeping score at home) before the sun set.

During the day, we visited some sites in the Hocking Hills area which, for my money, is some of the most beautiful real estate on earth.

Rock House is particulary striking, and worth a visit.

Love was in the air, even when that air was under millions of tons of rock.

So, now that I'm back in what passes for civilizatoin in these parts, I have some catching up to do. Don't wait for me. Y'all go on ahead. I'll be along in a piece.

Don't Be Like Me

2011-10-25T16:00:00.000-07:00

On-Demand Publishing Help?

2011-10-24T08:29:00.001-07:00

Any of y'all out there know any on-demand publishers?

I'm looking for something to print just a tiny number of copies of something. It's a collection of mostly text, but with occasional photographs. Not really the kind of thing I would use Shutterfly for (I've used them for mostly-photographs, some-text kinds of things, and they're great).

Any ideas?

Chestnut Ridge Typewriter Meetup

2011-10-17T08:47:00.000-07:00

Fall Haiku

2011-10-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

(Tried very hard to type this directly onto a leaf - no success. Even sandwiched between sheets and using carbon paper, the leaf was pretty much just torn to shreds.)

The Royal Heavies

2011-10-10T13:36:00.000-07:00

Telescreens, Cognitive Dissonance

2011-10-01T11:07:00.000-07:00

Royal Re-Refurb

2011-08-29T08:31:00.000-07:00

Right about a year ago, I found a Royal Empress, in a nasty, scratched-n-nicked taupe color, just begging for a refurb.

This was during the height of the Silver-Surferization sweeping the typosphere. Since this machine was all-steel, and couldn't just be stripped, I tried some of that cheap, metallic-silver paint. The results were poor, to say the least.

Doesn't look too godawful in this pic, but the paint was poorly applied. It never dried. At all. I pulled the cover off the thing a few weeks ago to find the paint still sticky - which had pretty nearly ruined the cover, and left nasty, ugly paint-stripped patches all over the typer.

If you ever have a hankerin' to try that shiny metallic paint? Don't.

So, I stripped the thing again - I'm getting pretty good at dis- and re-assembly of this particualr machine: I only had to hail Alan Seaver once in an absolute panic. My intention this time was to produce the Lord Vader effect which (as I recall) was the idea of Elizabeth of Little Flower Petals.

So, I hung the parts out on the line (after spending several days removing the previous paint-job and sanding and priming the steel for a new paint job) and sprayed them all down with a glossy black paint. I topped it off with multiple clear-coat applications. It looked great, from a distance.

But up close?
The Royal, as you can see, has enormous, broad expanses of surface area. Way more than the machine's innards would require. The hard thing about these huge metal planes is that it's hard to get a uniform coat of paint on them. It was rather splotchy.

In a funk, I asked Mrs. Moon for her opinion. She recommended jettisoning the whole Vader thing (which, I'm sure she meant, was kind of pathetic and nerdy anyway - she was too kind, though, to actually say this...) and to give it a light coat - a dusting - of a bronze paint she'd bought for another project.

The end result, I think, is way better. Looks classy to my eyes.

And the best part is that the paint dried wonderfully, and - while I had the innards exposed - I cleaned out all the mechanisms with Carb & Choke Cleaner (thank you, Mike Brown) and then re-lubricated it. I was able to fix the faulty right margin stop. Now it's a beautiful, functional Royal.

Empty Nest, Dusty Boxes

2011-08-18T14:28:00.000-07:00

G+

2011-08-11T08:37:00.000-07:00

This is why I hate joining new online thingummies.
I get the full-body whinge when I have to start making decisions like:
What Circle to drop peeps into.
I'm not even sure what that means. If I've dropped you into an inappropriate circle, please excuse. I'm new to these intertubes.

Badges

2011-08-10T08:36:00.000-07:00

Only your neighborhood typewriter repairman knows for sure.

History, or: Literary Grudges

2011-08-04T08:35:00.001-07:00

Didn't have enough space on that dadgummed gubmint form to really sing the praises of The Frontiersmen. Really a fantastic read, detailing the interactions between native peoples and American settlers in the old frontier (primarily Kentucky and Ohio). This is the first book in a five (?) part series called "The Winning of America", but Eckert in no way takes sides in his re-telling. The native tribes and the settlers are shown being empathetic, endearingly human characters, and being destructive, disappointingly human characters. It's a retelling, primarily, of the lives of Tecumseh (about whom there's a ton you can find elsewhere) and Simon Kenton (about whom...not so much, sadly).

Twin Torpedo Typecast

2011-08-03T08:44:00.001-07:00

The Helpful Typsophere

2011-07-25T13:40:00.000-07:00

I've been on the receiving end during the past month of at least two Typospherical Giftings.

First, Olivander/Collapsing World found some rubber feet that fit perfectly on my Underwood Noiseless #77. The old feet were horrific, crumbly, squashed things. It looks a thousand percent better now.

Then, out of the blue, a nice fella out on the west coast pointed out to me a machine on shopgoodwill - a machine local to me - that didn't seem to be getting much attention. This was a machine that has been on my Lust List for quite some time. I love it when a machine sort of falls into your lap. It's even better when a machine is in the process of floating by when a friendly typospherian gives you a timely shout-out.

So, below is the newest addition to my growing collection:

From what I've seen online, this is basically the last gasp of the Torpedo line of machines made in West Germany. Its case is very much like the Voss's. Its ribbon cover is now plastic (which, on the Torpedo 18b, it was metal), and its keytops are more Remington than Torpedo. Ditto with the carriage-return arm.

It turns out it's a script machine. That was kind of a surprise. And, oddly enough, it's twin (sans the ribbon cover) showed up a day or so later at the same shopgoodwill location. That one's mine, too.

Here's the thing: this machine is FAST. Really a well-made machine. Reminds one quite a bit of the SM-series Olympias, but with a basket shift. Different feel than the Olympias, though.

So, thank you, friendly typospherians.

(I didn't call y'all out by name, out of respect for y'all's anonymity and whatnot. But you deserve a big old public thank-you, I think.)

Most Ultimate Retrocast, or: Rock Piles revisited

2011-07-13T08:28:00.000-07:00

(plus, why haven't I changed the ribbon in this Olympia yet? I'm a bad, bad typewriter owner...)

River Rock Piles

2011-07-07T08:31:00.000-07:00

Cincinnati Typefest 2011

2011-07-05T08:40:00.000-07:00

Auction underway at Richard's house. Pay no mind to the smiling: competition was fierce.

More Auction Action.

Your Humble Correspondent, in apparent supplication before Matt-Via-Skype (.Adventures in Typewriterdom). I, for one, welcome our zealous, young new typewriterly overlords.

At the Type-In at Sitwell's Coffee Shop (or some such) even Mrs. Moon joined in the typing action.

Hard-Boiled Alan (Collapsing World) typing on his sterling Sterling, with apparent complete disregard to the danger of Marty Rice performing his Lingual Test of Precious Metal Authenticity on such a fine machine.

Jack Knarr and Herman Price looking shocked, SHOCKED! at the type-in.

Mike Brown demonstrating the thousands of ways you can completely destroy a typewriter. No T-Bar Bender? Your bare hands can do a tremendous amount of damage by themselves.

More type-in action at Sitwell's. Alan has moved, perhaps to elude the Roving Licker?

Your humble correspondent, at Sitwell's, typing and talking.

Good time had by all, yada yada yada. I, for one, loved seeing everyone again. I learned so much at last year's Typefest, I wouldn't have missed it.

Type-In Typecast

2011-07-05T08:39:00.001-07:00

BTW: Ribbon Idiocy

2011-07-01T08:46:00.000-07:00

BTW: A nice, helpful typospherian got me all squared away w/r/t the ribbon problem. It was an adjustment so elementary that he was gracious enough not to broadcast the fix typosphere-wide.
So, to the awesomely helpful dude (who I won't name - instead I'll refer to him as...ah...er...'Talon Beaver'?) a hearty thank you. I can now type in red OR black at will.

The Shuffle of Shame

2011-06-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

Typewriter Day, Still Life

2011-06-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

Well, I may give video another try tonight when I get home. Since the first was something of a crash-n-burn.

In the meantime: here's what I was typing, that day. Because I know you care.

Typewriter Day Cheat

2011-06-23T08:39:00.001-07:00

Apr08Video02 a video by DuffyMoon on Flickr.

NOT filmed on National Typewriter Day, for several really good reasons.

Yes, I do have the hands of an eleven-year-old girl. But the rest of me is completely buff and tan. Seriously.

Filmed in the Moon Family Backyard. I wanted to get the sound of the spring peepers in the background, but failed.

Best. Father's. Day. EVAR.

2011-06-22T08:38:00.000-07:00

One day.
One day to get the Underwood Elliott Fisher Noiseless 77 back together and operational.
One day to learn the complicated knots I never learned in Boy Scouts.
One day of watching the weather, calling the license bureau, limbering up my rowing arms.
Is the typosphere ready for the first Canoecast?
Stay tuned to find out.

Underwood 18, Bronzed (well, sorta)

2011-06-13T14:55:00.000-07:00

Finally got around to addressing the hideous dental-plaque off-white Underwood 18. It's been in a state of disassembly under my bed for a few months, I guess.

I didn't have the courage to try the Polt/Silver-Surfer treatment; instead, I stole some of the Hammered Metallic paint Mrs. Moon had purchased for another project.

Nice and shiny in the sun. Not too hard to dis- or re-assemble. I used the method I stole from some random typospherian, and hung the pieces from a line outdoors to paint them. Much better than setting them on newspaper, then turning - and, inevitably, getting the paint smudged because I lack patience.

Mrs. Moon said it looked like a ride at the fair. Sadly, it also TYPES like a ride at the fair: it's jerky and jangly and sorta feels like it was assembled from the bits leftover from several other machines, by a guy who operates a meth lab in the off season.

Well, that may have been a bit harsh. It's not as bad as all that. I'd rate it above the SCM Corsair/Cougar machines, but below a similarly-sized Olivetti. Still got some problems with a gimpy margin that either catches too easily (as in, stopping at the point where the bell should activate) or simply ignoring margin stops at both ends. Haven't found the sweet spot yet.

And, I predict, this machine will have found a new home before I get it completely the way I like it.

Slow Post Coming

2011-05-25T08:30:00.000-07:00

Admittedly a day late - due to technical difficulties. Happy belated birthday, Zimmie.

Bono and the Wasp: A Typecast in Haiku w/parentheticals

2011-05-10T13:10:00.000-07:00

Devolution of My Personal Tech

2011-05-06T08:27:00.000-07:00

Queen City Blues

2011-04-20T08:36:00.001-07:00

(If you're at all interested in seeing the only non-whiny and slightly-interesting thing about this typecast, clicky for broad-headed skink glamour shot. You won't regret it. Cutest skink you'll see all day.)

($50 for the ticket, for those keeping score at home.)

(Plus, for those really really paying attention: yes I actually did accidentally post this on the Typospheric home page, and then deleted it, putting it here instead. Bad case of the Mondays on a Wednesday - can't be a good sign.)

Edit: Now with extra Quadcam Photographic Evidence of Proximity to Spitzfaden's.

Jeffersonian Word Games

2011-04-13T08:29:00.000-07:00

Board layout is by Gretchen Moon, my pre-teen daughter, who is really going full-bore into celebrating both Scrabble Day and Thomas Jefferson's birthday.

Well done, Gretchen.

Toy Cameras

2011-04-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

Not much luck recently w/r/t typewriter finds at the local Thrift haunts.
Instead, I came home on Friday with this $.50 plastic camera:

Which is, apparently, a Quadcam made by "Accoutrements" or some such. Perhaps no longer available, it seems.

On further searching, though, it seems the same camera (roughly - see the same four apertures/lenses, the same odd viewfinder thingummy) is now Silver-Surfer plastic chrome and called the Lomo Action Sampler.

Four pics in one - pressing the shutter release actually activates a weird rotating timer thing, that sequentially opens the four apertures, over a one-second period. Based on my completely inexpert opinion, the shutter speed on each aperture seems rather on the slow side. Not sure how this is gonna work out.

I sent it with the female contingent of the Moon Household when they left Friday for some Girl-Scouty camping action. Hope to have some developed pictures soon so I can see if this camera has anything to offer.

Also sent them with the Vivitar Ultra Wide & Slim, which has a great 22mm lens - of surprising quality for a gimmicky toy camera.

Facebookville

2011-04-08T11:53:00.000-07:00

Inspired by all the recent facebook kvetching throughout the typosphere. Also likely inspired by a double-sausage pizza and too-little sleep.

Non-Typecast UJTU

2011-04-04T08:39:00.000-07:00

1) Busy, busy weekend in Cincinnati (or as the hipsters call it - I'm told by someone in the know - "the 'Nati"); too busy, unfortunately, to have made it to Spitzfadens. Which really has me steamed.

2) I'm needing a home for the William Kotzwinkle novel "Hermes 3000". Don't break the chain: send me an e-mail with your address (to duffymoon -at- gmail dot com) and into the mail it shall go on its way to you.
*** Update: Book has been spoken for. If you want it now, you'll have to petition the next victim. Unless that victim decides to maintain anonymity and keep the book forever and always - an eventuality I really don't expect. ***

3) Working on about five projects at the same time, none of which I expect will see completion.

4) I tried the much-discussed Brake Fluid Platen Restoration, and thought it worked great (in the short term). I'll check back in a few days. But for now? Oooh, the shiny blackness!

More Dictionary Pairs, or: The Grammarian Grand Jury

2011-03-30T08:38:00.001-07:00

Great source for novel or short story titles, song or album titles, band names, or just a good laugh. And a good reason to drag that dictionary off the shelf.
(Plus, do you know a good bass player? Erie Canal Escape Velocity would like to speak with you.)

Collectors Understand

2011-03-24T06:28:00.000-07:00

Wallace Haiku and 30% More Lunacy

2011-03-24T06:24:00.000-07:00

(David Foster Wallace Haiku - not the first, probably the worst.)

(Brought to you by KOFA: "Keeping Offices Fully Automated"; and by Nikon: "When You Just Can't Figure Out That Scanner".)

You'll Not Know For Whom to Cheer

2011-03-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

(This really happened. In the midst of it, watching and waiting for the bat to make another pass, so I could lob a well-timed bug in its direction, I stated to the other three members of the Moon Family that this might be the weirdest thing I'd ever done. Sensing - but not actually witnessing - a look from Mrs. Moon, I corrected myself, saying that it was at least in the top-five-weirdest. A few moments passed before Gretchen - my 12-year-old daughter - asked the natural followup: "What WAS the weirdest?")

(We lacked only the presence of a sloth on whose back I could be riding in order to complete the Repulsive Creature Trifecta.)

Underwood-Antares and the Silver Surfer?

2011-03-15T16:19:00.000-07:00

Wait, so does anyone know if the Underwood 18 (which, it seems, is an Antares machine and only peripherally related - if at all - to Olivetti) has a cast aluminum body?
I recall Clemens saying that.

But so then if SO, then can it be Silver-Surferized?

Because the ecru color of this thing really has to go.
It looks like a good candidate for painting, but if I could have anywhere near the effect Polt got, I'd give that a shot.

Unintentional Underwood

2011-03-15T11:46:00.000-07:00

(btw: the 'his one mistake' page is a curious religious tract, stapled to the repair receipt. the repair receipt is - as Richard has already noted - for the re-soldering of a 'D' typeslug, which has come from a totally different machine, and isn't lined up in quite the correct orientation. Actually all the letters seem to be top-heavy a bit, making me wonder about the position of the carriage - it's one of those rock-back-and-away shifted machines - and may also be related to the problems with the margin stops being ignored...)

Update Just to Update

2011-03-08T15:46:00.000-08:00

Tyospheric Sanctuary

2011-03-05T10:10:00.000-08:00

Due to technical difficulties, you'll have to clicky to embiggen. If you're so inclined. (edit - 3/7/11 - technical issues partly resolved. still tiny print, and clicking will take you to Flickr for embiggening process)

(having trouble with my own 'puter and scanner. been taking big data-eating pictures of posts, but tried an alternate scan method this time. only limited success. back to the old drawing board.)

Whistling Past the Graveyard

2011-03-01T15:35:00.001-08:00

(Typed on a gimpy Corona Junior Model S, with a too-inky calculator ribbon, for those of you who care about such things.)

(Inspired by listening way too many times to Andrew Bird's "Noble Beast" album, with some of the finest whistling you're likely to hear all decade. But not, obviously, just whistling. There's also great songwriting, great violing-ing, and lots of other great instrumentation. And if you get instead his "Weather Systems" album, you'll find some spectacular Brian Wilsoning on Bird's cover of The Handsome Family's "Don't Be Scared".)

(My gramma could whistle like nobody's business, even though her singing voice was wholly unremarkable.)

In the Beginnynge Was the Worde

2011-02-24T08:27:00.000-08:00

* Admittedly this veers awfully close to violating my prohibition on discussing religion and/or politics on my blog (a prohibition I violated with specific, targeted intent only once, as far as I can recall). I sincerely hope that in the 21st century we can put to bed at least the Catholic-vs-Protestant version of Interreligious Death Match. I think that, regardless of your brand of religiosity (or no religiosity at all) you can appreciate fine language, which is something Tyndale has in spades.
* If you're at all interested, I got on this tangent after reading God's Bestseller and give it an enormous thumb's-up.
* If you're even more interested, you can actually get a facsimile of Tyndale's 1526 New Testament here for what is an insanely good price.
* Those still reading must be extremely interested, in an unhealthy kid of way, and will be delighted and ecstatic to know that you can also get the 1611 King James Authorized Bible for a similar eye-popping price

ITAM Arsenal Post Part 3 - Rounding Out the Axis (and then some)

2011-02-23T08:35:00.000-08:00

Finishing up with Italy, Japan, Switzerland and China:

Olivetti Studio 44 (in a script typeface) - another present from Mrs. Moon. In nearly-new condition when I got it. Probably owned by a youngish, female person (if you'll allow me a stereotype here) due to the amount of glitter found in its shell's bottom.

Webster XL-747 - Japanese made (Brother, I think) little fella. A shopgoodwill find ($5, give or take). I like that the little gold sticker on its ribbon cover means I never have to wonder how Parents Magazine feels about this particular machine.

Olivetti Lettera 33 - another shopgoodwill find, also for $5 (back in the day when almost no one shopped for typers on shopgoodwill). My second typewriter purchase. The case is just as futuristically awesome as the typer.

KOFA - I'm told this stands for "Keeping Offices Fully Automated" or some such. Craigslist find - $20 or so - that came to central Ohio by way of Hong Kong. Same seller offered a nearly identical machine marked "Flying Fish" which would have been way better, but I just couldn't justify two such machines in my collection.

Hermes Rocket - acquired in trade with local collector (same one from whom I got the Olympias).

ITAM Arsenal Post Part 2 - the Germans

2011-02-22T15:44:00.000-08:00

The Voss Deluxe. I think y'all may have already met this fella. Found him in a neighbor's junk pile, under a hand-lettered "Free" sign. Needed some work, including a shift-lock key donated by Olivander, and some polishing.

Olympia SM-4: my first typewriter purchase (excepting the electronic, daisy-wheel, word-processing thingummy I bought while in college to type papers with). Arrived in a too-big box with too-little packaging, and in several pieces. Has since been refurbished by a local guy I know.

Olympia SM-7: adopted from a local collector who doesn't care for carriage-shifted machines.

Adler Tippa: purchased at Ohio Thrift for $6.96 I think. Didn't come with the case, but that eventually popped up and was purchased for $2.92.

Cole Steel: also purchased at Ohio Thrift, at the same time as the Adler, and for the same price. That was a magical day in the Moon household, let me tell you.

Erika Model 41: Found at Goodwill, where I paid probably too much for it (comparatively speaking). Plastic-bodied, like new, but not the dreamiest machine to type on.

Olympia SG-1. Acquired from the same collector from whom I got the SM-7. I forget why she wanted to part with this one, except that maybe it was taking up her entire knitting room.

ITAM Arsenal Post - Part One - the Americans

2011-02-22T08:41:00.001-08:00

Belatedly joining the ITAM celebrations worldwide, in sharing my typewriterly arsenal.

Starting with the American machines, because that's the way I roll.

Shiny Corona Sterling - a recent Father's Day present for moi.

Green Smith Corona Silent Super. Purchased for next to nothing because it had a busted drawband and defective mainspring. My first typewriter rehab project which (I'm ashamed to admit) took several months and multiple tries before I got it right.

Royal Quiet Deluxe, with the tombstone keys I love so much. Convinced to buy this after seeing them pop up multiple times over a one-week period in the typosphere. A Davis Family post put me over the edge.

Remington Noiseless Model Seven - my second ever typewriter purchase. This purchase influenced heavily by R. Polt and his immorally addictive site.

Corona Junior Model S - purchased through craigslist from an over-the-road truckdriver. This is one of those instances (too many to name, likely) in which I saw the craigslist post, quickly e-mailed Olivander with questions, then immediately responded to the ad.

Remington Standard - One of only three desktop machines I still have. This one spent the majority of its past life in the local post office. Recently-replaced rubber makes this one a keeper.

Insulator Removed

2011-02-18T08:28:00.000-08:00

This picture is one I took with a cheap plastic 35mm camera, modified into a pinhole camera.

In it is my son (faceless: in real flesh-and-blood life, he actually has a face). He is standing next to both a maple tree a white picket fence. Both are now gone.

The village in which I live has seen fit to replace the aging water lines which feed into all the homes on my street. To get to these lines a lot of digging was required. To get the the parts that needed digging, some trees had to go.

We (until this week) have had three century-old maple trees separating our house and yard from the street. The trees were beautiful in their idiosyncratic, vaguely-menorah-shaped way (they've been hacked at by the power company on more than one occasion). They provided wonderful shade during Ohio's hot-humid summers. They established an insulating perimeter, a line of demarcation between Our Home and Not Our Home.

Sadly, these trees are now lying about the muddy yard in sawdusty slices of wood. There are puddles of standing water in Ohio clay. There are open trenches.

Mrs. Moon is practically unconsolable. I'm not all that thrilled myself. A tree ought not to be required to give up its life in the service of a utility. Sadly, the village did not see things this way. All must fall before the Axe of Convenience. Ah, progress.

Beet Reprise

2011-01-29T11:26:00.000-08:00

Phantom Letter Slides

2011-01-27T08:32:00.000-08:00

Love Root

2011-01-25T15:42:00.001-08:00

Jan 24 Typecast, Closeup, in Two Parts

2011-01-24T08:37:00.000-08:00

(produced using pure bio-mechanical energy and utilizing a shiny black Voss Deluxe typewriter)

Typecast on a Voss

2011-01-24T08:36:00.000-08:00

The Whole Voss, in its Natural Habitat

2011-01-20T08:42:00.000-08:00

And here's the whole thing, in all its shiny black emo-music-listening,nose-piercing, pasty-pale Goth glory.

This is the Moon Family writing area. Not a whole lot going on in this area this year.

Post-Goth-Polish-Makeover Voss

2011-01-20T08:38:00.000-08:00

Here it is after its black nail polish refurb.

You can compare that with this 'before' pic, which - in the manner of ALL 'before' pics - is taken in a completely different setting, with different lighting, etc etc.

Thank You Goth Girls! Thank You Richard Polt!

2011-01-18T16:31:00.001-08:00

I felt kinda wrong doing it.
(Kinda the wrong feeling I'm getting by typing this into a PC, and not scanning it in from a typewritten original.)

I used a bottle of cheap, Goth-Girl black nail polish to touch up my Voss Deluxe. Before you shriek in horror, you've gotta understand: it was beat. It was nicked up and scratched. There were actual deep gouges in the paint. There's rust in spots.

Sure, from about ten feet away, the thing is drop-dead gorgeous. But close-up, there are definite Issues.

So, following some instructions on Polt's "Classic Typewriter Page" site (the name-dropping here is only so that you don't completely rip me apart for taking nail polish to such a beautiful machine), I braved the raised eyebrows at my local Drug Establishment and purchased a little bottle of the black stuff.

With a little help from the Lovely Mrs. Moon, I got that sucker nicely finished. That is, if by "finished" you mean "mostly black". The polish was a close enough match so that you'd have to look closely to notice anything amiss. There are some textural issues that resulted from maybe too quick a job.

Would I recommend this on a rarer machine? No. This machine was just a hair too far removed from 'factory' to justify either leaving it as-is or going full-bore on an auto-shop paint job.

Beautiful, though, she is. And starting to type like it, too.
Typecast from her royal blackness coming soon to a blog near you.

A Typospherical, Literary Proposal of Sorts

2010-12-07T12:02:00.001-08:00

Machine Age Family

2010-12-07T11:59:00.001-08:00

Of Golden Arches and Chenille Bedspreads

2010-11-12T07:34:00.000-08:00

Is it wrong for me to feel a little bit like Hayley Mills in The Parent Trap at the news that McDonalds and Dr. Pepper have - at long last - been united?

Unlike Hayley Mills, though, I had no hand at all in bringing about the recent nuptials. Unless you count the many times I flung myself onto my chenille bedpread, wishing my two great Junk Food Loves could somehow set aside their differences.

The sun is burning just a bit brighter this November morning. The birdsong never sounded so sweet. My cholesterol levels are up, and all is well with the world.

Typewriter Two-A-Days, or: Lazy Dog PWND, Quick Brown Fox FTW!!!

2010-10-27T11:46:00.000-07:00

Sort of a diagnostic on a dozen (plus) machines that might see some November Novelling action.
Based just on these pangramatical test-phrases, you might think I'm going to be in a world of trouble, plot-wise, this November. You'd be right.

Type-Writerly Things I've Learned (in the past 48 hours or so):

2010-10-06T07:41:00.000-07:00

Every October, in what's become a Pre-NaNo ritual, I lug out all the machines that have been neglected over the past 10 months (give or take) and try them all out. I don't want 11/1 to roll in and only *then* find out my Olympia needs a new ribbon, or there's a type-arm disconnected on the Silent Super.

So, in the last few days, I've begun this process.

Things I've discovered so far:

1) The Voss Deluxe is playing games with me again. On the test sheet I'm using (same sheet, fed through as many machines as I can) it produced the best copy of all my typers when put through its anagram-atical paces. I know enough from past try-outs, though, to be aware that it's just biding its time, waiting to spring its esoteric malfunctions on me just when I'm building up a nice head of novelling steam. But, still: she's an eye-catcher as well as a heart-breaker.

2) The Remington Noiseless Model Seven gets way less love than she deserves. Never fails to do her job perfectly, with no fuss. I also discovered that - unlike pretty much every other manual machine I've typed on - she produces perfectly *even* copy (that is, very little variation in darkness/lightness of printed characters) regardless of how much force I use in typing. And she never jams. Why isn't this my main go-to machine? Difficult to say. Beautiful (but maybe not Voss-beautiful) and reliable: she deserves better than me.

3) If you happen to be cleaning up a new(ish) Royal QDL - tombstone keys, two-tone gray/black crinkle paint - that you were convinced to adopt because of a post by the Davis brothers on their must-read typewriter blog, and in the midst of this cleanup effort you happen to walk through the living room carrying this machine, and sort of pause to check up on your youngsters to see what they're watching on the tube, and they just happen to be watching "A Series of Unfortunate Events", and it just happens to be one of the many times during that movie that there's a gratuitious typewriter-prOn shot of a shadowy Lemony Snicket typing, and if you stop long enough to note that Mr. Snicket is typing on a machine identical in pretty much every way to the one you're now carrying: if you grab the remote and freeze-frame the film at that point, your kids will not share in your delight.

Annual Exam, or: The Giggler

2010-09-10T10:03:00.000-07:00

As much as I know that 39 years old is at least a few decades too old for giggling whenever my abdominal ticklish spot is prodded, I also know that it's too late to change my essential neurological makeup now.

I fear, however, that once I leave the confines of the examination room, I'm likely referred to by unkind names ("The Giggler"?).

Retreat

2010-08-23T14:13:00.000-07:00

So, now that we are no longer playing host to our too-cute-to-be-believed Japanese exchange student (and having blown through all the tissues in our home and van, several times over and, just when it seemed we were done, having found that tiny little barrette she used to wear...) and normalcy has once again descended upon the Moon household, likely it's time for an update.

I made my first typewriter donation recently.

That is, I've donated before, if by "donate" you mean something like, I gave a few of my less-attractive (to me) typers to another local collector, who has several times donated some really fine and very-attractive machines to yourstruly.

But this time, I donated my coral-painted Royal HH. It really had to go: I have way too many desktop machines, and way too few desktops on which to place them.

It's now the property of The Mustard Seed Retreat, a local writer's retreat out in the Union County countryside. Run by a local writer and Master Gardner, it's a great and beautiful place, and I'm glad my machine is there. Turns out the coral paint was the perfect color for the room in which the machine was placed. And when I lugged it out of my car, into the room, and set it carefully down on the desk, I had to nudge aside a paperback copy of Eudora Welty's "On Writing" (which, in case you haven't been keeping score at home, was likely written on a Royal HH nearly identical - in all but its coralness - to the machine I was at that time lugging).

If you happen to be a writerly type, and happen to find yourself in rural North-West-Central Ohio, you might make an appointment for a day of pampered writing at The Mustard Seed.

And, if you do, give my machine some love

Historical Accuracy

2010-07-20T13:11:00.001-07:00

This Friday, the Moon family will begin to play host to a young Japanese girl. She'll be staying with us for a month.

It's a sort of exchange program through a cooperation involving 4-H (all you city slickers will have to text your country kin for an esplanation of 4-H) and a similar organization in Japan.

The idea is for these young students to be immersed in American culture and language. We're encouraged to keep pretty much to our regular schedule and daily lives.

The problem - immediately obvious to anyone who knows anything about the Moon family - is that much of our regular schedule and daily lives are not really very accurate depictions of American Culture at large.

Let's explore some facts:
We collect typewriters.
We watch very very little television.
We haven't been to a mall more than once in the past three years.
We like to listen to 33rpm records.
In our household, there is no Xbox, no Wii, no gaming system to speak of.

Mostly we like to read books. We go to museums. We work in the garden and play in the crick (again, text those country kin...). We frequently go to this place called 'church'. We visit with family frequently. We sometimes just walk around the neighborhood taking pictures of random stuff.

I'd worry about this, but I recently became aware that one of the exchange students last year stayed with a very conservative Mennonite family, whose daily lives are I'd bet even further removed from the norm than ours are.

We're very much looking forward to it, and we think it'll be a tremendous experience for Gretchen (our 11-year-old dtr) and Geddy (our 8-year-old son). We're learning to make "sticky" rice so our poor little exchangee won't starve. We'll try to cut down on the fried chicken and the meals served with gravy. Unless she likes it. Who knows? Maybe she'll like typewriters and records and walking around with cameras. Who can say?

A Sort of Eulogy

2010-06-25T06:15:00.000-07:00

My wife just called to let me know they are loading my poor baby onto a truck right now. Even now, some well-meaning fellow in grease-stained coveralls is strapping her down onto his flatbed, preparing to haul her away to the scrap yard. There, she’ll undoubtedly be melted down – or is it cremated? – into her baser elements.

Last week – a tumultuous one, at best, during which both of our automobiles, the lawn mower, the stove and the air conditioner all went on the fritz simultaneously – our poor little Nissan waved the flag of surrender. 270K+ miles and 12+ years of hard use had finally taken their toll. During the last few weeks she started spewing oil in nearly BP-grade quantities. That last day, something belt-driven seized up and the belt melted down in foul, smoky fashion attempting to move that immovable object.

We had decided not long before that there would be no more trips to the local garage for her. She had done her duty, served admirably, fought the good fight and kept the faith. We, her family, decided that she wouldn’t want to be kept alive indefinitely, forced to haul me the 60+ miles a day to and from work in her dotage. She’d already suffered the indignity of transplants of her engine, her transmission, several alternators, countless mufflers and muffler pipes, multiple brake pads, a handful of head- and tail-lights. She’d been transfused with countless gallons of vital automotive fluids and lubricants. But no more. To her rest, we said.

We brought her home in February of 1998. A medium-blue Nissan Sentra – a little car, just for the two of us. By December of that year, our human family had grown to three, and it was in that Sentra’s back seat that our daughter was brought home from Mt. Carmel. We have the pictures to prove it. Three years later, that little car provided the same service for our tiny newborn son. Our Sentra was with us through three different residences. She traveled with us over much of the eastern U.S. We loved her.

Last week, after the final, smoky ride, my wife and I sat in her front seats – nicely conformed to our own backsides’ shapes – and we methodically cleaned out everything of value inside. It was vaguely like preparing a home for a wake or – more properly – preparing the body. We found decade-old cassette tapes, marked-up road maps, receipts from far-flung drive-thru places. We took out the little wirebound notebook into which we had diligently recorded every fill-up and oil change. On some of its pages were the infantile scrawls of our children who, on some long drive in the indeterminate past, needed something to keep them busy.

And so now she is doubtless chained down on the back of a truck, and on her way to her reward. I tend to get sentimental about things like this (in case you hadn’t noticed up to this point in my self-indulgent essay) and my wife is similarly afflicted. She kept a stiff-upper lip, though, when she called me. She said she believed our little blue baby would be melted down, and her steel used in some other, newer car, which would then bring home someone else’s (human) baby from some other hospital, somewhere. I hope she’s right.

Although it feels somehow crass to bring up our Nissan’s replacement here, in this eulogy, I have to relate something of interest. Needing a car quickly, and cheaply, to drive to and from work, my wife and I have purchased a used vehicle from some elderly neighbors. She (the neighbor, not the car) is infirm – recuperating from recent hip and foot surgeries – and can no longer drive her car. During the years she had it, in fact, she put very few miles on it; it stayed in the garage more days than not. She revealed to me shyly that she always called it her “little sweetie”. She assured me that she wouldn’t hold it against me if I didn’t maintain that practice. She waved it off, admitting that probably sounded silly to me. Not at all, I argued. I understand perfectly. I think she believed me.

Lamentations from the Typewriter Man

2010-05-13T11:02:00.000-07:00

This old Ian Frazier piece is still just as funny, no matter how many times you read it. Especially if you have kids. And most especially if you ever went to a King James-ey kind of church.

Also, for those who would enjoy something awesome and read-worthy by Frazier, and maybe you don't have kids and never went to a King James-ey kind of church, you might like to read his Typewriter Man piece, instead.

I Could Do It With a Mimeograph

2010-04-22T10:51:00.000-07:00

No way to import 6 years (give or take) of LJ posts into blogger, hmmmm?

So I guess this would be what they call one of them 'clean slates'.

I always hated clean slates.

A Changing of the Ribbon, as it were...

2010-04-21T13:42:00.000-07:00

I've considered for some time moving my personal 'blog' from LiveJournal to blogger.

After all, all my friends are doing it. Isn't that good enough? In answer to your unspoken and presumably hypothetical question, none of my friends have jumped off a building (to my knowledge) and I therefore wouldn't know how to answer that. Depends on the building and how fun it looked.

But so anyway. I may end up re-situating myself here on blogger. I may or may not then jettison my LJ.

Mostly I'm here because this is where my (fantastic) local writers' group will be congregating. Perhaps I can talk them into accepting typewritten submissions from me, scanned in and disseminated --via the tubes of electronic voodoo imagery -- right to their desktops?